Testimony
by Veep
Summary: Sam is called to testify about women serving on the front line. What she has to say surprises Jack and impacts their relationship. Now done!
1. Chapter 1

"Hey, Jack. Are you busy or can you talk for a sec?"

He smiled at the sound of her voice. "I'm supposed to be reading reports about geek crap, so I have all the time in world. What's up?"

"I've been asked to come to D.C. to testify for a senate subcommittee about women serving on the front line. It was a very last-minute request. My flight leaves in two hours but I am having trouble finding a room, so I was hoping I could sleep on your sofa tonight."

"You're always welcome to stay on my sofa. I'd be happy to show you the sights too."

Sam giggled. "I spent a few years stationed at the pentagon, remember?"

"I'm sure the whole place has changed a lot since then."

"I'm sure it has."

"Send me your flight details and I'll see you at the airport."

"Will do. Thanks."

She arrived around dinner time, so Jack took her out for steaks and a beer. After dinner they went to Jack's apartment, where Sam did not sleep on the sofa. They woke early the next morning, a bit tired but happy.

Sam was set to testify at 1000, the second woman called that morning. Jack went with her, so he could sit in the gallery. The room was less than half full. Aides were coming and going even as the first witness was questioned. The panel members were the only people who seemed to be paying any attention, and that was only when they weren't being interrupted by their phones and aides.

The morning's first witness was thanked for her account and her service before being dismissed. Sam was shown to the table down front and given a glass of water. Jack moved forward so he could sit behind her. The panel took a few minutes to check their emails and phones before beginning Sam's testimony.

"Thank you for joining us today Lieutenant Colonel Carter. Your service record is very impressive. You began as a fighter pilot and served in the Gulf. After a brief stint down the street at the pentagon you joined a unit at Cheyenne Mountain. According to the information provided you have worked on the front line while serving in Cheyenne Mountain. I must admit I am a bit confused."

Sam grinned. "My team travels out of the U.S. on various missions."

"Yes, Senator Merkel said your missions were classified and this committee couldn't delve into them, but he also felt your experiences would add to our discussions. Perhaps we can begin by having you tell us how you feel about women serving on the front line."

Sam nodded. "There's no reason to restrict women who wish to serve on the front line as long as they meet the training requirements and those requirements are based on the real needs of the job."

"What do you mean by the requirements being based on the real needs of the job? Are you saying some requirements aren't really needed?"

"Although it isn't common there are times when job requirements are set in order to keep otherwise qualified women from being able to serve. If a person has to be able to carry 150 pounds for five miles because they will be carrying heavy equipment long distances, then that is a reasonable requirement. If the job entails carrying a 50-pound pack five miles a day there is no reason to require a person to carry 150 pounds."

"Have you encountered situations where you felt the expectations were unreasonable?"

"I have but unlike many others I have managed to still obtain my goals even when people tried to stand in my way."

"Are you still encountering situations you would consider sexist?"

Sam puckered her lips as she thought. "As I have advanced in my career I have had fewer people question my skills. I still encounter men who see me as lesser and want to treat me as an object, but it happens much less these days. I am pleased to say that Cheyenne Mountain is the least sexist environment in which I have worked."

"That is good to hear Colonel." The senator looked down the row at Senator Merkel. "I am sorry I have monopolized your witness. She is all yours."

Merkel nodded. "Thanks." He looked over his shoulder and handed a packet of papers to an aide who walked down the row, giving a copy to each member of the committee. "Although I appreciate your insight into serving on the front line I have actually invited you here today to discuss a series of reports you and one Dr. Fraiser authored over several years."

Sam felt a rock settle in her stomach.

"Are you aware of the reports I am referencing?"

"I recall writing several reports with Dr. Fraiser, but it has been a long time. Some of the details may escape me." She felt Jack's presence behind her and wished he had gone to his office.

"I thought that might be case, so I prepared an extra copy for you." The aide walked down and handed Sam a packet of papers. "I'll give you a moment to reacquaint yourself with what you wrote."

Sam flipped open the cover and thumbed through the pages. She had written these reports over the span of almost a year and was surprised to see Janet had added to them later. All of the reports were heavily redacted.

"I apologize to everyone for all the black ink, but these reports do reference classified missions. I have done my best to preserve the portions that are relevant to our discussion without compromising the security of the United States or the fine people serving our country." Merkel glanced down the row at his colleagues before focusing back on Sam. "Perhaps you could give the committee a brief overview of these reports."

Sam swallowed as she flipped through the pages. "Of course." She straightened her back and squared her shoulders as she focused on Merkel, trying to ignore Jack's presence behind her. "Dr. Fraiser and I noted a number of sexual assaults occurring to team members serving out of Cheyenne Mountain. We made some recommendations to help reduce these incidences."

"I think we need a bit more of an explanation, please. Could you begin with the first report?"

Sam gritted her teeth. "Of course." She flipped back to the beginning even though she knew this report like the back of her hand. She ran her index finger over the redacted portions of the first three sentences.

"Colonel?"

She looked up. "Sorry. This report includes five separate incidences of assault of a sexual nature. The first involved a sergeant who was forcibly separated from their team and subsequently assaulted and killed. The team with which the sergeant was serving tried to stop the abduction and several of them lost their lives in the process. Another team was sent to retrieve the sergeant but that wasn't possible."

Jack remembered this incident well. He had seen the video of the sergeant's capture and led the team to rescue her. Sam couldn't discuss this woman's use as a symbiote incubator, but assault seemed like too light of a description for what happened to her.

"Were the individuals responsible for this kidnapping, rape, and murder apprehended?"

"It took a while but eventually, yes."

"Is that included in the report?"

"No, sir. The assailants were not apprehended until a few years later."

"The second incident?"

"In that case an officer was assaulted while on a mission outside the United States. The officer in question had been voluntarily separated from their team at the time. This left the officer vulnerable to attack."

"When you say attack do you mean raped?"

"In this case, yes." She heard Jack shift in his seat. She wanted to turn around and see his face, but she knew she couldn't.

"Was the officer killed in this instance?"

"No, the officer returned to Cheyenne Mountain."

"Was the rapist caught?"

Sam tilted her head as she pondered a response. "The rapist was punished, but not through our legal system."

Merkel nodded. "The third case?"

Sam took a deep breath. "An officer who was suffering a mental breakdown assaulted a second officer while both of them were serving outside the United States."

"Does assault again mean rape?"

Sam shook her head. "Not this time. The assailant inappropriately touched the victim as well as hit the victim but there was no rape."

"What happened to the assailant in this case?"

Sam ran her hand over the report. "He died."

Merkel nodded. "The fourth case?"

"An officer was drugged, separated from their team, raped, and they almost died as a result."

"And the assailant in this case?"

Sam pursed her lips. "Not apprehended."

"And the last case in this first report?"

"Multiple officers were drugged and assaulted while in Cheyenne Mountain. At least one person was raped but do to memory loss and the confusion related to being drugged it is unknown whether there were other assaults."

"You're telling us this happened in Cheyenne Mountain?"

"Yes, sir."

"Did one of our officers so this?"

"No, sir. It was a foreign combatant who had escaped custody."

"Were they caught?"

"Not at the time but later they were brought to justice."

"So what recommendations did you and Dr. Fraiser make at the conclusion of this first report?"

"We recommended that teams never allow one member to be separated, always working in at least pairs. Although the teams often work with locals and do not want to offend them by refusing their hospitality it was suggested that one team member eat and drink only U.S. military supplied goods, to avoid the whole team being drugged, either purposefully or accidently. We also recommended that even though we did not want to offend the locals our teams did not need to follow the local customs if they put one or more team members at a disadvantage."

"Can you explain that last part in more detail?"

"In one of the cases referenced in this report the locals kept males and females separated and the team felt it was best to follow those customs, leaving one team member more vulnerable to attack."

"I see. You recommended one of the officers involved be disciplined. Dr. Fraiser disagreed with your recommendation. That was the only mention of a reprimand I saw in this report and the recommendation was not followed up upon. Do you know why?"

"The commanding officer did not agree with my recommendation."

"Were any of your other recommendations accepted?"

"Yes, they all were. Training was updated within days of the report being completed. We also formed a support group to help those who had been affected by assault, on the job or off."

"I see. Dr. Fraiser documented three more incidents over the next two years."

"Yes, sir."

"I assume that means your recommendations did not help."

"I hope our recommendations kept the number of incidents lower than they otherwise would have been. There wasn't a good way to accurately determine that, but anecdotal evidence provided by teams seemed to indicate potential incidents were avoided. The next three incidents documented in the subsequent reports were all the result of hostile foreign assailants and the teams involved did not allow any team member to be especially vulnerable."

"So, in addition to their other jobs the men on these teams are responsible for the safety of the females on their team?"

"Yes, just as the women are responsible for the safety of the males on their teams." Merkel scoffed. "I suspect you are making an incorrect assumption, sir. Out of the eight incidences documented in these reports at least three include males as the assault victims."

"Oh, please." Merkel scoffed.

"Men can be sexually assaulted and raped." Merkel rolled his eyes. "If your daughter was drugged to the point where she was unable to make decisions on her own and someone had sex with her while she was drugged would that be rape?"

Merkel's face turned slightly red. "Yes."

"If your son was drugged to the point where he was unable to make decisions on his own and someone had sex with him while he was drugged would that also be rape?"

Merkel glared at Sam but did not answer. The woman beside him, Senator Wilson, leaned forward. "Perhaps if Dr. Fraiser could testify she would be able to provide Senator Merkel with the medical details to show both men and women had been raped."

Sam tensed her shoulders. "Dr. Fraiser died in the line of duty."

Senator Wilson grimaced. "That is unfortunate."

Merkel, whose face was screwed up in anger, crossed his arms. "Another woman who lost her life serving on the front line when she shouldn't have been there. Was she raped too?"

Sam's nostrils flared but she maintained her composure. "Dr. Fraiser saved hundreds of lives during her career, including the day she was killed. Like everyone else in the service she knew the risks and she chose to do the job. I know what could happen every time I leave Cheyenne Mountain and I keep choosing to go back out there. We all, males and females alike, face the same risks and we are trained to handle those risks."

"Were you really trained for this? Were you really told what could happen to you?"

Sam nodded. "Absolutely. I had no illusions about what could happen to me if I was taken captive and I make sure new recruits are similarly prepared."

Merkel nodded. "Why did you and Dr. Fraiser decide to write these reports?"

"Dr. Fraiser was the chief medical officer for our unit so she was often the first person who interacted with assault victims. She treated their physical wounds and went through the accounts of what occurred with her patients. She did not have much experience in the field however, so she sought my opinion on how field conditions and the team dynamics could be altered to be protect everyone without compromising the mission."

"At the time these reports were written you were a captain and new to Cheyenne Mountain. Wasn't there anyone with more experience Dr. Fraiser could have consulted?"

"There probably was."

"And yet she chose you?"

"Yes."

"You have no other idea why?"

Sam looked down at the table trying to decide how much she wanted to say on record. The room around her had gotten much quieter and she felt their eyes on her. She didn't really care that much about them though. She cared about the man sitting behind her and how this could impact her life with him.

She swallowed and looked up at Merkel. "We were friends."

"You do understand you are under oath, correct?"

"Yes, I do."

"So, Dr. Fraiser chose you because of your vast experience as a Captain who had been at Cheyenne Mountain for less than a year and because you were friends."

"Yes."

Merkel stared at her but as he prepared to push more he was interrupted by the senator sitting at the center of the row who up until now had been silent. "Thank you Lieutenant Colonel Carter, this committee appreciates your time and testimony."

The noise in the room increased as aides began circulating again. Sam slowly pushed her way to standing as the senators broke eye contact and picked up their tablets and cell phones. Sam looked over her should and found Jack was already standing, with his shoulders back and his jaw clenched. He turned to leave and she followed as he weaved his way out. She caught up to him in the central veranda and reached out wrapping her hand around his forearm.

"Jack, please stop." He slowed his pace but kept his stride long as he headed for the exit. Sam matched his stride even though she was in heels. "Jack." He stopped to the right of the door.

He looked at Sam and the anger in his eyes made her suck in a quick breath. She had known based on his walk that he was angry, but she had assumed he was angry about having to stay silent as Merkel attacked her. Jack was very protective of the people he loved. Now as he looked at her she knew he was angry at her and she didn't know why.

"Jack?"

"Were you raped while you served under my command?'

Her eyes widened. "What?"

"Don't make me say it again. Were you?"

She took a small step closer to him. "You…you didn't know?"

"I don't seem to remember you telling me." Sam swallowed as Jack glared at her. "How many times?"

"What?"

"How many times were you…raped," he struggled to say it, "while serving under my command?" He wasn't yelling but his deep voice carried through the chamber.

Sam glanced around them. People were slowing down as they went out the exit, trying to determine what was happening. "This isn't the time or place?"

"And I'm guessing there hasn't been a time or a place all these years?"

"I…I didn't know that you didn't know. I mean I didn't want you to know at the time, but I thought you found out."

"So it's true?" Sam gave him a small nod. He pulled his arm out of her hand. "How could you keep working for me? How can you stand to let me…" He stepped back.

"Jack?" She reached out, but he moved further away. "Let you do what? Jack?" He turned away from her. "Where are you going?"

"I need to get back to work." He stepped out the door and she followed. He looked over his shoulder. "Just…just go home." She stood there as he walked down the steps and hailed a cab.


	2. Chapter 2

She went back to his apartment and changed out of her dress blues. A run through the park left her exhausted but it didn't turn off the voice in her head telling her that she had lost Jack. Betrayal was the one thing he wouldn't tolerate, especially those he loved and trusted. There was no sign of him when she returned to his apartment. She took a shower and decided enough was enough. She took the subway to the Pentagon and made her way to his office.

His secretary was on the phone when she arrived. Sam waited for her to hang up before approaching her desk.

"Hi, I'm Sam Carter. I hoped I could see General O'Neill."

Jack's secretary stood up and put her hand out towards Sam. "It is a real pleasure to meet you. General O'Neill talks about you all the time. I can tell he thinks a lot of you."

Sam felt her face blush slightly. "That's good to know actually." Sam glanced towards Jack's closed door. "Can I?"

"Oh, I'm sorry dear but General O'Neill isn't here. He told me yesterday he was taking today and tomorrow off because you were going to be in town. I was happy to rearrange his schedule because he needed a little time off. He stays here way too late at night. I'm surprised he isn't with you."

"We were together earlier but when we got separated I thought we were going to meet here. I guess we got our signals mixed."

"Well that's too bad sweetie. Is there something you'd like me to tell him if I see him before you find him?"

"Just let him know I've got my cell phone with me and he can call me at any time."

"I'll be sure and do that. It was really nice to meet you."

Sam headed back to the apartment, having no other ideas where to look for him. She stopped and picked up groceries on the way back, hoping he would come home for dinner. Her repeated calls to his phone went unanswered and she wasn't sure what message to leave. She ate dinner alone and put his plate in the refrigerator. She fell asleep on the sofa with stupid infomercials playing on the television. When she woke early the next morning she was still alone. She called the base and booked a ride on the first plane back to Colorado.

Jack had spent the afternoon at a bar, thinking back over his years as the commander of SG-1 while drinking beer. How could he have not known? What kind of commander, what kind of man had he been? How could he have let this happen to her? How could he have not noticed? How could she stand to let him touch her? Once it was late and the bar cut him off he made his way back to his office. He'd slept on his office sofa more than once and he knew it wouldn't mess his back up too much. His secretary found him there a little before nine the next morning.

She brought him a cup of coffee and told him about Sam's message the previous day. He thanked her as he took two acetaminophens with his coffee.

Sam got home midafternoon on Friday. She considered going into the mountain to work but she knew Daniel would be all over her about why she was back from D.C. early and she had no interest in answering his questions. She wasn't even sure she understood what happened so trying to explain would have been pointless. She went for a run in the park near her house but that didn't shut off the questions swirling in her head. After a quick shower she packed a few supplies and got her bike out of the garage. The speed helped her quiet her mind for a bit.

Jack got home late Friday night to find his lights were out and his apartment was quiet. He went straight to his bedroom and opened the closet door. Her carry-on bag was gone. His stomach clenched. He should have realized sooner when he told her to go home she would take him literally. He slipped off his shoes and placed them on the floor at the foot of his bed. He looked over at his dresser. The first two drawers were hers, an invitation to visit often and a sign he wanted her in his life. She kept enough there that she could visit without bringing anything, as long as they weren't going to any official functions. If she had emptied those drawers he would know she wasn't planning to return. He ran his fingers over the top drawer handle but he didn't pull it open, he wasn't ready to know yet.

He turned off the bedroom light and went to his kitchen. When he opened the refrigerator to get out a bear he saw the wrapped-up plate. He took it out, leaving the refrigerator door open, and took off the cover. He swallowed. She made him dinner, but he never came home to eat it. She didn't leave immediately. If only he'd come home yesterday…but he didn't. He put the plate back in the refrigerator and got out a beer. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and he sat down on the sofa, no more missed calls since last night. He turned on a ball game and let the sound and the beer make his brain fuzzy.

Sam stopped at a motel for the night. She had dinner at the diner that shared a parking lot with the motel. She took a booth in the corner, ordered a grilled cheese sandwich with fries, and got out the book she had brought along. She finished chapter three of her murder mystery as her waitress brought her dinner. She kept reading as she ate, enjoying the melted cheese and hot fries. She was interrupted when she was close to finishing chapter four as a man in his late 30s sat down in the seat facing her.

"What's a pretty thing like you doing having dinner all alone?" It was hard to tell his height since he was sitting and his shoulders were slumped. He was slightly overweight, but his arms showed muscles, making Sam think he did manual labor on a regular basis. He was clean, but his clothes were comfortably worn.

Sam gave him a small tight smile. "Alone is actually what I am after tonight."

He leaned back in the booth. "Well that's only because you've never been with a man like me. You can change that right now." He grinned at her as she rolled her eyes.

"Thanks, but not tonight."

His eyes narrowed. "I'm very persuasive. I don't get turned down."

"You do tonight."

He pushed himself out of the booth. "You'll be sorry you said no to this." He pointed his thumb at his chest. He went to the counter, sat down, and ordered dinner. Sam left a generous tip and made her way back to her room.

She was up early the next morning. She went back to the diner and ordered a bacon and egg biscuit and filled her thermos with coffee. She had voicemail on her phone, but it wouldn't play. She checked her missed calls, but nothing showed up from last night. Her stupid phone never rang so how did she get a voicemail. She hoped this meant Jack had called but she wasn't sure and it was way too early in D.C. for her to call him. As soon as her food was ready she took off for the closest overlook and parked her bike, so she could enjoy breakfast as the sun rose.

Sam was half way done with her biscuit when a dark blue truck pulled into the overlook. She hoped they would just slow down and move on but no luck, the truck parked parallel across four spots with the headlights shining on Sam. The engine turned off, but the lights stayed on as the driver climbed out.

"Fancy running into you again. This must be fate." Sam lifted her hand to shield her eyes from the headlights. She internally groaned as the man from the diner last night moved out of the glare of the lights. "Kinda early to be and about isn't it?"

"Not when you want to see the sunrise?"

"Are you one of those granola I love nature nuts? Cause getting up this early for a sunrise seems a bit nuts?"

"Far from it. I am just trying to enjoy a little time on my own."

"I wouldn't feel right about leaving you out here alone. What if you were really out here to jump off the edge and kill yourself and I drove away and didn't stop you? That would haunt me for forever."

"I've got better things to do than kill myself and even if I did jump I doubt you would hear about it so you wouldn't be haunted."

"Too late sweetheart, I won't be able to stop worrying about you now."

Sam stood and wrapped up the uneaten biscuit. "In that case there's no reason for me to hang around." She moved over towards her bike, keeping a check on the annoying man with her peripheral vision.

"You don't have to run off. We can enjoy the sunrise together."

Sam shook her head and she packed her thermos. "As I've said I'm after solitude, which is hard to get in a crowd."

"Two ain't a crowd, it's cozy." Sam climbed on her bike. "You'll regret this." He screamed after her, but the sound of her bike masked his voice.

She was on one of the few straight stretches on this part of the road when she saw the headlights closing in on her. She sped up, being careful to not get too risky on the curves. The truck took the center of the road, straightening his path and letting him gain speed. Sam came close to losing it as she went around a sharp corner and she slowed down. The truck caught up with her and played chicken until his front passenger bumper clipped her back tire. Sam flew off the bike and rolled into the middle of the road. The truck skidded to a stop with the headlights pointed over the rock cliff.

Her helmet was cracked, and she was bloodied and bruised but alive. When she tried to roll over her arm exploded in pain. He jumped out of the truck and ran over to her. He straddled her and put his hands around her throat. "Tried to blow me off, huh."

Sam tried to fight but her left arm wouldn't cooperate, and she was in extreme pain along her back and down her legs. She saw headlights and heard tires screeching as her vision dimmed and she lost consciousness.


	3. Chapter 3

It was mid-morning on Saturday when Jack's phone rang. He grabbed it and checked the screen, hoping it would be Sam but was disappointed to see it was Daniel.

"Hey Daniel."

"Jack, is Sam there with you?"

"Nope."

"Thought she was going to be in D.C. this weekend."

"She was but things changed."

"Do you know where she is?"

Jack sat forward on his sofa. "Are you saying she isn't there?"

"The SGC just got a call from a sheriff in the Rockies saying Sam's bike had been involved in an accident."

Jack's heart skipped a beat. "Is she hurt?"

Daniel audibly swallowed. "That's the weird part. An eyewitness says a woman was taken from the scene, but nobody knows where she is."

"They checked the hospitals?"

"Yeah, no luck. The sheriff also said there was a murder near there last night. They didn't say there was a connection, but they implied it."

"Send me the details and I'll meet you there."

Jack used his pull to get a flight to the closest base and then borrowed a truck. He was on sight before dark. Daniel and Teal'c met him at the door of the sheriff's office.

"There was a murder at the motel Sam stayed at last night. Turns out there have been several murders up and down this stretch of highway over the last eight months. All the victims were female, usually prostitutes, drug addicts, or both."

"Well that's not Sam."

"No, but the truck the eyewitness saw stopped in the road sounds a lot like a truck that was seen in the vicinity of the motel last night. When the eyewitness got out of his car to see what was happening he found a man standing over a woman's body and a bike to the side of the road. The guy standing over her said he found her lying there and was going to take her to the hospital. Together they put her in the back of his truck but the witness said the guy drove the wrong way to go to the closest hospital, so the witness got worried and called the cops. The sheriff found Sam's identification in her bags and called us."

Jack slammed his fist against the wall. "Damn it. They have no idea where she is?"

Daniel shook his head. "None."

Teal'c inclined his head. "We should look for what makes Colonel Carter so unique."

"What do you mean T?"

"Naquadah is not common on this planet, correct?"

Jack punched his in the arm. "You are a damn genius Teal'c. Daniel aren't you supposed to be the smart one?" Daniel's mouth opened but it closed without any sound being uttered. "I'll call the mountain and see what I can get started."

Jack was off the phone quickly. "We'll have two UAV's in this air space within an hour. Now, where's the sheriff?"

"He had to go back to the motel to meet the F.B.I. agent."

"F.B.I.? You didn't think that was worth mentioning before now?"

Daniel glared at Jack. "I was getting there. The agent is here because of the body at the motel not because of Sam. Like I said, there have been a series of murders along this route over the last few months."

"Looks like it's time to go to the motel." Daniel and Teal'c joined Jack in the borrowed Air Force truck.

Jack drove too fast, but Daniel knew better than to say anything under the circumstances. He skidded to a stop beside the sheriff's car gaining plenty of attention.

"How can I help you, sir?"

Jack put his hand out towards the sheriff. "General Jack O'Neill. I'm here about Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter."

The F.B.I. agent stepped forward. "We were just discussing whether or not her disappearance could be related to this murder." He pointed over his shoulder.

"She didn't take off on her own."

The sheriff nodded. "We understand that, and I've got an APB out for all four wheel dark blue trucks."

"So why do you think this sicko doesn't have her?"

"She doesn't fit his MO. He goes after women who have drug problems and most of them were also prostitutes."

Jack scowled. "That certainly not Carter."

"We didn't think so either."

"But whoever did this may have seen her, they were both here last night."

"Also true, which is why were are proceeding as if this suspect has Colonel Carter."

"So, what does this guy do to these women?"

The agent's lips thinned into a line as he contemplated what to say. "He helps them overdose on a variety of drugs, usually the ones they are known for taking."

Jack put his hands into his pockets. "What does he do to them?"

"The women have generally had sex within a few hours of dying. Since he usually keeps them alive for a couple days we feel sure he is raping them."

Jack twisted his neck and grimaced. "So, you have his DNA?"

The agent shook his head. "No, we have some prints but there are no matches in the system so he hasn't been in the military or arrested. The prints are actually how we figured out these deaths were connected. Sadly, it took us a while to make the connection since drug addicted prostitutes dying of drug overdoses after having sex didn't initially raise alarm bells."

"Right, anything other than the body in this motel that could link Colonel Carter's abduction to your killer?"

The agent gave him a small shrug. "We're processing Colonel Carter's personal items now. They were collected at the site of the motorcycle wreck. Hopefully we'll know more in a couple hours." He looked over his shoulder towards the hotel. "The techs are about done here. They'll be heading back to the sheriff's office to check Colonel Carter's belonging."

"Good. We've got some special aerial units being deployed to look for Colonel Carter."

The sheriff's eyes widened and he looked over at the agent. "Good to have friends with resources."


	4. Chapter 4

Sam woke slowly but didn't open her eyes or move, even though the pain in shoulder made her want to roll over. She focused on the sounds and smells in the room, footsteps, a fire, something cooking. A foot nudged her back and she wasn't able to stop the moan of pain.

"Awake, huh? Wondered how long you were gonna sleep." Sam peeled her eyes slowly open. He was standing over her glaring down. "Hungry?"

"No."

He shrugged. "Probably for the best." He walked away as Sam took a better inventory of her physical condition. Her wrists and ankles were bound with plastic ties, the kind you get at the hardware store not the ones used by law enforcement. Her back was sore, but she could move her legs and arms. Her left shoulder hurt more than anything else but if she pushed through the pain she could move it.

"You dislocated it when you wrecked." She looked over at him as he stirred something in a pan on the stove. "I put it back in place while you were taking your little nap. Good thing you were wearing a helmet though."

Sam tried to sit up, but the pain stopped her and she laid back down on the hard wooden floor. He laughed at her effort.

"What do you want?"

"I want you to be mine."

"That is not going to happen."

"All the others said that at first too, but in the end they were all begging to be mine. You'll ask too."

Sam sneered "Don't count on it."

He snickered as he moved the cast iron skillet from the center of the wood fire stove to the edge. "In case you're wondering about rescue let me put your mind at ease, we are in the middle of nowhere. There's no electricity and no bars on your cell phone. We don't even have running water, but the well isn't too far away. The outhouse is a bit of walk but no worries we've got a bucket." He glanced towards the corner and Sam followed his line of vision to the rusted bucket.

He sat down at a small table in the corner and ate the food he had just finished cooking. Sam took advantage of his inattention to analyze the cabin. There was a fireplace with a roaring fire making the cabin stifling hot. The mantle over the fire was devoid of pictures or mementos but there was a deer head mounted on the wall. There were two fishing rods propped up in the corner near the only door and a tackle box on the floor. If she was lucky there would be a knife in the tacklebox that she could get her hands on. There was a half full wood box on the other side of the door. The small table where he was eating had an oil lamp on it and he was using a fork and knife to eat. Sam mentally cataloged the second potential weapon. There were dishes in a drainer beside the sink and cabinets on either side of the sink with a window over the sink. It was either still before sunrise or just after sunset based on the dimness of the sky.

"What time is it?"

"Not sure why it matters to ya, since you probably won't make it to morning, but it's round six I'd guess. I don't wear a watch, never had much use for one really." He took a drink from a can of beer. "What will you miss most?"

Sam crinkled her brow, not following the change in topic. Her captor laughed. "There must be something you're sorry you didn't do before you died. What is it?" He laughed again at her discomfort. "There's nothing I'll miss. The nice thing about my life is I do what I want when I want."

He finished his meal and put his plate and utensils in the sink. He moved one of chairs from the small table over towards Sam. He hauled her up unexpectedly, making pain radiate from her shoulder. She screamed as he lifted her into the chair. As she was catching her breath he ran one hand down from her shoulder to her breast. He removed his hand before she had a chance to flinch.

Sam was repeatedly swallowing, trying to not throw up, as her head spun and her nausea was kicked into high gear by the sudden movement. He brought her a glass of water. "This will help."

She started to shake her head but that turned out to be a mistake. She swallowed twice more before she could speak. "No, thanks."

"Anything?" Jack looked over Daniel's shoulder at the laptop screen.

"Not since the UAVs left the crash site."

"Damn. We should have something by now. What's taking so long?"

Daniel shook his head. "We have no idea what direction they went after they left the main road. There's a lot of territory to cover. We also don't really know if this is going to work."

Jack went back to pacing.

Sam's head was throbbing and her vision was blurry but she was forcing her eyes to stay open. Her kidnapper had cleaned up from dinner and had built up the fire, even though the cabin was already too hot.

"Are you ready for something to drink?"

"No."

"This is very different. The others were so desperate, so willing. It was too easy. I like the thought of having to break you." He ran his fingers through his hair. His fingers moved down along her jawline to her neck. "You are so beautiful."

Sam's jaw tightened. His hand trailed to her shoulder and she braced herself as he again moved his hand down her chest. He moved so he was standing behind her and placed both hands on her breasts. Her stomach rolled as he pushed his groin against the back of her head. She used his distraction to twist her feet, breaking the plastic tie. She bent her head forward and slammed it backwards into his groin. He screamed and fell back as Sam pushed up out of the chair. She stumbled forward and fell into the still warm stove. He moved forward and slammed her head down onto the stove.

"Bitch, you'll pay for that."

Sam grabbed the heavy cast iron pan and swing it back towards her assailant making solid contact with the side of his head. She didn't wait to assess the damage. She headed for the door, finding her left leg was weak and trying to give out under her. She limped out to the deck, stumbled down the stairs, and headed for the woods. It was fully dark now, which would help her hide but also made it tough for her to navigate out. She moved from tree to tree, pausing only to listen for sounds that she was being chased. She was covered in sweat and breathing hard. Exhausting was growing to be as much of a danger as her kidnapper then she heard trees rustling and her heart tightened. She stood as still as possible, hoping he would pass by her.

"SAM!" She looked to her right, towards his voice. "SAM!"

"JACK!" There was more rustling. "JACK!"

He appeared through two spruce pines to her right. She pushed off the red maple she was resting upon and fell into his arms.

"I knew you'd come. I knew you'd come, no matter what."

"Always, for you always." He put his hand on the back of her head as she pressed her face against his neck. "I'VE GOT HER! SHE'S ALIVE!"

Teal'c appeared before Jack had finished announcing her rescue. "Let me assist you back to our vehicle Colonel Carter."

Sam lifted her head from Jack's shoulder. "Thanks, Teal'c. I think I'll take you up on that if you're sure."

"I am very positive." He lifted her gently.

"There's a guy after me."

Jack shook his head. "No, there isn't."

"Yes, Jack, he…"

"He's dead Sam. You're safe now." Sam relaxed and laid her head against Teal'c's chest as he carried her out of the woods. They walked past the cabin and down the hill until they encountered three sheriff's vehicles, the military truck Jack had borrowed, and a black SUV. Teal'c put Sam in the back of Jack's truck and Daniel sat with her. Jack drove them all to the closest hospital with the sheriff giving them an escort.

"She has a small brain bleed, a concussion, her shoulder had been put back in place after being dislocated, she has a severe left ankle sprain, and numerous cuts and bruises. I want to keep her overnight to monitor her brain bleed. If she's stable tomorrow morning I can release her, as long as she will check in with her physician when you get her home."

"Will do doc. Thanks. Can we go see her now?"

"Of course."

All three men surrounded her bed in the dimly lit room. She opened her eyes at the sound of all the shuffling. "Hey guys, hope you had more success talking the doctor into letting me go."

Jack shook his head. "You're here for the night."

"Aw, come on, I'm fine."

"Would you like me to turn on a few more lights?" She glared at him. "That's what I thought."

After Sam fell asleep Jack ran out to the closest Wal-mart and bought her a few things to make her hospital stay and leaving a bit easier. He was back a little over an hour after he left and found Daniel pacing the room.

"Problem?"

"The SGC needs me back to translate something SG-8 just brought back."

Jack waved his hand. "So go."

"I'd rather stay."

"I get that, but I'll be here. Go."

Sam had a fitful night and it didn't help that nurses came in every two hours to check her vitals. Jack slept a bit, but the chair was uncomfortable, and he was exhausted the next morning. Sam was released a little after ten. Jack gave her the clothes and dark sunglasses he had gone out to buy the night before. The sheriff had asked them to come to the station when she was released, to get her personal items and to give a statement.

Jack insisted on staying with her as she was questioned. He made it clear that if he wasn't allowed to stay with her they would be waiting until an Air Force lawyer could join her. The sheriff kept repeating that wasn't necessary since she was a victim, but Jack was equally insistent that they would not be interviewing a concussed Sam without some type of representation. The Sheriff relented.

Jack stayed perfectly still as Sam told the whole story, starting with meeting him in the diner to her escape. Sam asked about her assailant's history and the Sheriff told her his prints had been found at six crime scenes, but they suspected there had been more than twelve murders over the last three years. They were processing the cabin, where they suspected he took the women to kill them before leaving them in cheap hotel rooms or gas station bathrooms.

A couple deputies helped Jack load Sam's bike into the back of the truck. He held her helmet gently as he examined the crack down one side. He was about to throw it away when she stopped him. He put it in the back of the truck along with her bags.

"Is my cell phone in there somewhere?"

Jack opened the bag closest to him and fumbled through it. "Here it is."

He handed it to her. "Thanks." The screen was cracked but it still turned on. Jack drove through a fast food joint and got them burgers, fries, and drinks before leaving town. They ate in silence, but Jack glanced over at Sam several times.

"Did any of you call Cassie when you were looking for me?"

"No, should we have? Did she know where you were?"

"No, she didn't. I just wanted to be sure I didn't need to call and tell her I was fine."

"Did you tell anyone where you were going?"

Sam looked down at her hands in her lap. She was picking at a hang nail. "No, and you don't have to say it. I know it was not only stupid but also against regulations."

"Yep, I expect Hank will have your hide for it."

"Probably, but I deserve it. I know better."

"So why did you do it?"

Sam swallowed. "There are only a few ways I can really relax and shut down all the noise in my head when I'm having trouble working out a problem. Riding my bike and beautiful vistas are two of those ways. I knew if I called the SGC and gave my change of plans Daniel would be on me like white on rice to find out why my plans changed and I didn't want to talk about it."

"You couldn't have found anything closer to home to keep you occupied?" He glanced over at her. "No big projects to get absorbed in?"

"Not really and anyway that would get me back to Daniel's annoying questions."

"True. You couldn't just garden, huh?"

Sam grinned. "That doesn't really help."

"There seriously isn't anything you could have done without disappearing, huh?"

"Nothing that was an option at the time."

Jack looked over at her again, trying to decipher her answer, but he decided to let it go. The silence was making them both uncomfortable but neither knew where to begin.

"I'm gonna stop here for gas, no telling how much further until we get to some real civilization."

"Sounds good. I think I'll go to the restroom. Not many of those out here in the boonies either." Jack pulled up at the pump, came around to Sam's side, and helped her out of the truck.

"I can carry you to the door if that would help." Sam really needed to be on crutches but her sore shoulder just couldn't handle it, so she was using a walking boot.

"Thanks, but I can make it." She hobbled to the side of the small gas station as Jack went back around the truck and started pumping gas. Once inside the bathroom she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket. The message she couldn't open before was now lit up green. She sat on the toilet and pressed play.

"Hey, Sam. I…I'm not really sure what to say. I mean I don't really want to leave a message. It seems wrong really, so I guess what I'm saying is we need to talk. Face-to-face would have been better but by phone will do. I'm home again and I'll be here all night so just call me and we can talk."

Sam had trouble stopping the message because her hand was shaking. 'We need to talk' was the universal way of saying I want to break up. He wasn't mentioning it now because she was injured but she was sure he hadn't changed his mind. Tears started streaming down her face. She had to find a way to collect herself and get through the rest of the ride home. The knock on the door startled her.

"Sam? You ok in there?"

Sam steadied her face. "Yes, sorry. I'll be out in a minute." All the IV fluids had left her well hydrated, so she really did need to use the bathroom, which gave her a chance to stop crying. She washed her hands and her face before going out the door to find Jack had moved the truck closer to the bathroom. He was waiting for her beside the open passenger door.

He put his hand out as she moved closer. She turned to face him instead of getting in the truck. She hadn't meant to bring it up before they got home but it came out.

"It's over isn't it."

"Absolutely, yes."

Sam gasped and fell back, catching herself with her good hand on the seat behind her. She had not been prepared for such a quick definitive answer. She began shaking as her eyes filled with tears. She looked down and away from Jack.

He reached out for her. "Sam? What's wrong?"

"I figured you wanted to…to…break…" She gasped again.

"Break? Sam? What are you talking about?"

"It's…it's all o…over."

"Of course it is, he's dead. He can't ever hurt you again. That's a good thing."

Sam looked up at him through her wet lashes. "What?"

"You asked me if this whole ordeal was over and I said yes because it is." Concern was written all over his face and she could tell he wanted to reach out to her, but he didn't.

Sam steadied herself against the edge of the seat behind her and took a long slow breath before trying to speak. "I meant us, Jack. Are we over?"

"No! I mean I don't want us to be. Do you want us to be?"

"No, no I don't." She pushed off the seat and wrapped her arms around his neck. "No, I don't want this to end."

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him. "But you thought I did?" He felt her nod slightly against his neck. "Why?"

She pulled back slightly and he wiped a tear off her face. "I never heard my phone ring but when I got up Saturday morning I had a message I couldn't play. When I got my phone back at the sheriff's station I checked and the message was still there. I just…I just played it. I was finally able to listen to your message. You said we needed to talk and I thought that meant…I mean that's what you say when you…when you want to break up."

He cupped her face. "I'm sorry, Sam. I honestly just meant we needed to talk. I didn't mean it in a break up kind of way." She leaned her head into his hand as he leaned forward and kissed her. Their kiss got longer as he pressed her back against the truck.

"Do y'all need a room?" Sam turned her head and giggled. Jack looked over his shoulder at the gas station owner. "You two are a little old to be making out in a parking lot."

Sam buried her face against Jack's chest as she laughed. Jack shook his head. "You're never too old to make out, no matter where you are, when a hot woman agrees to kiss you back." The older man gave him a psst and went back into the gas station. "Let's get home so I can kiss you some more with a smaller audience."

Sam stopped giggling as Jack helped her into the truck. "Sounds good to me."

Sam looked at the seat between them and was pleased to see drinks and candy. She opened the chocolate covered raisins first and ate a few. She opened the twizzlers second and pulled one out for him. He took it and bit off one end before turning it around and biting off the opposite end. That made her smile.

He finished one twizzler and was on the second one when he glanced at her from the corner of his eye. She looked unhappy again. "Penny for your thoughts?"

She sighed. "I'm sorry I lied to you."

Jack stared straight ahead. "Do you mean about the…about when you were…"

"Raped, yes."

Jack's face tightened as she shook his head. "You didn't lie to me. Captain Carter lied to Colonel O'Neill." He glanced at her. "And I suspect Captain Carter felt she had a good reason for doing it. She tended to think through everything."

Sam ate another chocolate covered raisin. "She did, didn't she."

"So, what was she thinking back then?"

"Back then I knew you saw me as a burden not an asset." He opened his mouth, but she didn't give him a chance to speak. "Don't you dare try to deny it. You painted me with the same brush as Daniel, except you saw him as a key to communicating with the natives. At that point I was a geek you had to protect, and my skill set didn't seem necessary. I was worried if you found out I had been raped I would seem like an even bigger burden and you'd kick me off SG-1. General Hammond said you wouldn't, but I refused to listen to him. It took a lot of convincing, but he finally agreed to keep my secret as long as I went to counseling."

"He told me he required counseling for anyone held captive, even if it as short term." Jack shook his head. "How did he talk you out of having me court martialed?"

Sam's brows knitted as she looked over at him. "I never suggested court martialing you. I told General Hammond that everything you did was within the scope of our mission, given what we knew. In hindsight splitting up was a mistake but at the time we all thought it was the right move."

Jack was gnawing at his lower lip as he slowly shook his head. "I heard you when you testified, you said you recommended one officer be court martialed, but their superior agent didn't agree with your assessment."

Sam rubbed her hands up and down her legs as Jack grabbed another twizzler. "I was the officer I recommended for court martial."

"That makes no sense, Sam."

"Argos."

"What?"

"When we were on Argos I allowed you to be drugged, separated from the team, and raped. You almost died because I was too chicken to listen to my gut. I knew something was wrong, but I didn't say anything and I, more than anyone, should have seen what was happening."

Jack's face turned red. "You have got to be kidding me. Jeez, I remember Hammond asking me about disciplining you. I thought it was ridiculous then and I still do now."

Sam twisted her hands, "I didn't. I let you down and I knew better."

Jack was silent, and Sam could tell he was processing so she let him be until he was ready. "How long was it before you felt like you could trust me?"

She twisted her hands in her lap and glanced out the window. "After Jolinar. You…you stood by me."

Jack's grip on the wheel increased. "You spent that long working for me and thinking of me as a jerk?"

"No, not a jerk, not exactly. For a while I thought you were a male chauvinist pig who would sleep with anything in a short skirt, which is part of why I let Argos happen, but then I got to know you better and I figured out you were a very moral man who was loyal to those you cared about."

Jack scoffed but his hands also relaxed a bit on the wheel. "How did you make a shift that big?"

"Part of it was talking to Daniel in the weeks following the crystal entity but mainly it was our time in Antarctica." She saw his confusion. "You talked to Sara. That told me you still cared for her, not the actions of a male chauvinist pig."

"Ahh. But even then you still didn't trust me?"

She reached over and put her hand on his leg. "I trusted you with my life, still do, but I didn't think you valued what I added to the team, at least not until you stood by me after Jolinar. I never questioned my place on the team again."

Jack swallowed. "What I don't understand is how you could care for the man who let you be raped and made you spend a year of your life feeling like you cold lose your job any minute."

Sam pursed her lips and blew out a long breath. "How did you fall for a woman that let you be raped and almost let you die?"

"That's totally different, I didn't even think of it all that way."

"I know you didn't but be honest, did you love that Sam Carter?"

He shifted his hands around on the wheel. "No."

"But now?" The corner of his mouth went up.

She nodded. "Things changed, despite all we've been through and because of everything we've done together. I can't pinpoint the moment it happened, but I know when I knew it." His eyes widened. She'd never admitted this to him before. "When we lost you on Eudora and I thought I would never see you again."

He remembered how she had looked at him after that. There was a pain in her eyes that he told himself couldn't be related to him. He had assumed he had missed something while he was gone but he had been so wrapped up in his own transition that he never questioned it.

"I knew when we were in hell together." He put his hand over hers. "Hell of a pair we made, knowing it and fighting it the whole time."

"Yeah, it drove Daniel crazy."

"In that case it was totally worth it."

Sam snorted. She slipped her hand out from under Jack's and got herself a twizzler. "These aren't bad, but I don't understand why you bite off both ends first."

"Try it and see." Sam glanced at him but did as he requested. "Now put it in your mouth and suck, or blow."

Sam laughed. "There's a hole in the middle."

"Yep." He enjoyed seeing her laugh and hated that he had so often been a reason she cried, especially lately.

They decided to push on and wait until they got to Sam's to eat dinner. Sam went straight to the shower while Jack ordered a pizza. He unloaded her stuff from the truck while he waited on her and the pizza. It arrived just after she had emerged, clean for the first time in days. She wasn't wearing the sling or the walking boot. Jack considered nagging her but it seemed pointless, so he brought her some dinner and a soda before joining her on the sofa. They watched television for less than an hour and then Jack saw Sam's head nodding, so he decided to call it a night. They were both exhausted.

Sam was the first in bed. When Jack walked out of the bathroom he paused beside her bed. "I can go to the guest room, so I won't jostle the bed and hurt you."

Sam reached over to the other side of the bed and flipped the covers back. "I'd rather you stay here."

"You're sure?" Sam nodded so Jack crawled in beside her. "Good night beautiful."

"Good night Jack."

He forced himself to stay awake until he knew she was asleep. He'd never told her but she had a tell, when she fell asleep she curled her fingers and stretched out one hand until her knuckles hit something. At first it confused him because when they shared a tent her hand would be pressed against whatever was close to her, the tent wall, her pack, or his arm. She did it to Daniel and Teal'c too, which bothered him slightly, so he often made sure he was to her left when they shared a tent, since that was the side she preferred to face at night.

Tonight, when he felt her knuckles graze his arm he knew she had fallen asleep. He relaxed and let himself be taken over by the exhaustion of the last three days. He woke a little before four in the morning. These days he couldn't tell whether his aches and pains woke him and he realized he needed to pee or if his need to pee woke him up and then he felt his aches and pains. Getting old sucked, but either way he needed to get up for a few minutes. He slowly rolled out of bed, trying to not let the cold air invade the covers and shuffled into the bathroom.

He slid back into bed, hoping he hadn't woken Sam, but she rolled towards him and put her arm across his chest.

"Good morning."

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"You didn't."

"Really? How long have you been awake?"

"Not more than an hour, probably."

"You need more sleep than that."

"Agreed but I just can't seem to get back to sleep."

"All that noise in your head again?" He put his arm out and she scooted closer.

"I guess."

"Well no bike rides for you this time and I refuse to let you go to the mountain this early. You'll need to find another way to quiet that amazing brain."

"There is one other way to distract me." She scooted a little closer and he curled his arm around her. When she pressed against him he realized she was topless. He was pretty sure she'd been wearing a top when she went to bed. He certainly hoped he hadn't gotten so old he had missed that little detail. "You happen to be an expert in this particular distraction method."

His fingers tightened against her. "You're injured."

"You'll be gentle." She kissed his jawline as her hand slipped under the edge of his shirt and moved into his chest hair. Jack decided denying her would be pointless. An hour later they were both back asleep.

She woke to the smell of coffee. She threw on yoga pants and a comfortable shirt before joining Jack for a cup of coffee and doughnuts that he had clearly bought before she woke. A morning news show was playing while Jack was sitting on the sofa using his laptop. She peeked over his shoulder and saw he was just catching up on a long list of unread emails.

"That looks boring."

He grinned at her. "It is but well-meaning people get on my case when I have more than five hundred unread emails."

"Five hundred! I can't stand having even one just sitting there."

Jack shrugged. "I got you one of those apple cinnamon ones you love."

Sam smiled. "I saw. Thank-you. When do you have to go back?"

Jack glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "I scheduled a flight for Sunday afternoon. I hope that's ok."

Sam's smile double in size. "You'll be here all week?"

Jack nodded, "I'll do a bit of work from here, but I will mostly be taking care of you." She raised her eyebrows as he raised his hand. "Don't even tell me you don't need to be taken care of. I don't want to hear it. Even if you can physically take care of yourself I still want to be here to make your life easier. I'd also just like to relax a bit together. We don't really do that much."

Sam sat down beside him and relaxed against his shoulder. "No, we don't and it sounds like a good idea."

Sam read while Jack finished his emails. When he was done she borrowed his laptop while he got a shower. When he got back his laptop was sitting on the coffee table in front of the sofa and there was a document open on it. He sat down beside Sam and put his arm around her. "What are you working on?" He glanced towards the laptop.

"It's the report." She swallowed. "I still have access to the original copy as well as the addendums added later. Figured the best way to be sure all your questions are answered is to let you read what we really wrote instead of just hearing tidbits taken out of context." She leaned forward, picked up the laptop, and placed it in his lap. "I really assumed you found out at some point. I never intended to keep it from you this long."

He kept his eyes on her. Her pain and misery were written all over her face. "I believe you, Sam. I don't have to read it to know you never meant to hurt me."

"But you do want to know the truth and until you read it you will think there are things you don't know. It will gnaw at you, at us. Just keep in mind my view of you was very different back then and I also wasn't as sure of myself as I am today. Neither of us is the same today."

"Noted."

Sam got up and went to the study to work on a book she was writing. She came back an hour later. Jack still had the laptop but he didn't seem to be looking at it. She sat down beside him.

"Jack?" He looked over at her. "We're gonna talk to each other, remember."

He clenched his jaw. "You blamed yourself for not fighting back."

She nodded. "I never should have been taken from that tent let alone dragged through the forest. I had the skills to take the boy down, but I didn't want to embarrass the poor kid."

"Damn Daniel as his stupid advice."

"He didn't know any better either. We all learned our lesson."

"But you ended up being whipped and…" He looked away.

"Raped. You can say it."

He closed his eyes. "Do you still blame yourself?"

Since his eyes were closed he couldn't see her shake her head. "Not really, but if I had to do it over again I wouldn't let it happen but since I can't change it I have learned to live with it."

He opened his eyes. "That isn't a no." He watched her as she glanced away. "He had two men hold you down, but you fought anyway. He whipped you until you stopped fighting." He put his hand on her leg. "There was nothing you could have done."

"No, not once he had me."

"And yet you let this eat at you and your confidence for years, didn't you?" She swallowed and gave him a small nod, acknowledging something that she had denied, even to herself, for years. "So when you went into that cave with Jonas alone were you trying to prove something to me or to yourself?"

Sam leaned back against the arm of the sofa. "Both I guess."

"And according to this he laid his slimy hands on you too."

Sam nodded, "Yes, but I expected that."

Jack's eyes narrowed. "That was only a few weeks after…"

"Say it Jack."

He grimaced. "It was only a little bit after you were raped." It made him nauseous to say it.

"True but all he did was get a bit handsy and I was ready for it."

"Anyone not in these reports that's been a bit handsy?"

Sam gave him a small uncomfortable grin. "Many, starting before I even stepped foot on academy grounds. I'm female, in case you hadn't noticed, and that comes hand in hand with being sexually harassed. Since I picked a male dominated career I've encountered many instances where men felt they could take liberties and I've learned how to shut them down."

Jack rubbed his hands on his legs. "It just burns me. I never saw it."

"It's pervasive, in society as well as in the Air Force. The good news is I encountered far less sexism in the SGC than I did at any previous job. General Hammond didn't tolerate those types of behaviors when he knew about them and neither did you." Jack gave her a small head tilt to indicate he heard her but was still processing it. "Daniel is in these reports far more often than I am."

"Yeah, I noticed that. I never really understood what all those ladies saw in him."

Sam sighed. "It didn't have anything to do with attraction. Rape is about exerting power."

"But Daniel never saw himself as having been…"

"Yes, he did Jack. I recommended a great psychiatrist though."

"He did? He never told me that."

Sam shrugged. "He knew you never saw yourself that way even though you were also raped." Jack put his hand up to protest, but Sam put her hand on his arm. "I get you never saw it that way but if the same thing had happened to me you would have called it rape."

He grunted. She slid her hand down his arm and held his hand. "We all deal with things differently, Jack. Daniel and I have both come to terms with what happened. I don't want this to drag you down all this time later, that's not why I gave you the report."

"You wanted me to see the data Janet kept later."

Sam nodded. "If I had known why I was being called to testify I would have found a way to present it. These reports and the changes that General Hammond accepted, and you helped implement, made a difference."

He still looked very conflicted. Sam closed the laptop and moved it to the coffee table. She rotated her body and put her legs over Jacks, making it easier to put her head on his shoulder. He put his hands on her legs and his right thumb started moving in circles.

"What else?"

Jack raised his eyebrows and look at her. "Huh?"

"I can tell there's something still bothering you. What is it?"

Jack looked down at her knees. She could tell he was trying to decide what to say so she just gave him time. She put her hand on his, putting a bit of herself in his view.

"You and Janet pointed out that in several situations the victims were drugged and unable to give consent."

Sam nodded. "Yes."

"Well, then, that means I…" His thumb was still twitching even with her hand over it. "I…" His voice was a whisper. "I…raped you when we were on that ice planet."

"No." Sam shook her head even though it made her a little nauseous. "No, you didn't."

Jack swallowed and nodded. "You'd been drugged and you didn't know who you were. If you'd known who you were and who I was you never would have given consent."

"Stop, just stop." Sam tensed. "Don't you dare make it sound so…" Sam reached out and put her hand on the side of his face, but he wouldn't look at her. "First, you had also been drugged and you were not liable for your actions. If you had known who you were you never would have slept with me. Second, I'm the one who asked you to meet me behind that boiler and I made the first move. That means technically speaking I was the aggressor and you were the victim. And third, I'm not sure I would have turned you down if you had shown up at my door and kissed me the way we kissed behind that boiler." His eyes lifted to her face. "I have never regretted a single thing that happened under that ice and I don't want you to try and sully those memories for me."

"Up until I read this report I rather enjoyed those memories as well."

She kissed his cheek. "Don't let that change."

He put his arm around her. "Would you have really?"

She grinned. "Have slept with you?"

"Yeah."

She shrugged slightly. "I'm honestly not sure but it is very possible."

"Damn." She quietly snickered. "Wait, did you tell Janet?"

"Not at first but I'm pretty sure Daniel sad something because she was on my case a couple weeks later. It didn't help that we were being so weird around each other. I finally spilled."

"That has to be why my exams got a lot more intense after that."

"Janet wouldn't have done that. She actually encouraged me to find a way to make it work."

"Really?" He leaned his head against hers. "Why didn't you?"

"Part of me wasn't sure you were really interested in me and I was also worried about what people would think about both of us. I knew I would never get another promotion if people thought I'd been sleeping with you while we served together. I also didn't want to ruin your career."

"And I didn't want to ruin yours." He snorted. "What a pair we make."

She moved her head, forcing him to raise his head. She turned his face towards her. "We do make a great pair." She leaned in and kissed him. He twisted and brought her a little closer, deepening the kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned back, pulling him down. The air was clear and they were together.


End file.
